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Oops I pooped my pants!

Oops I pooped my pants!
Taryn Brumfitt

I don’t know anyone who lives in a house with a white, picket fence who has pooed their pants, except for me.

**Updated Story which now includes a video**

I’ve also wet my pants on the netball court and I’ve also had nipples the size of dinner plates. I’ve attempted getting my sexy on with my husband, riding him on top only to find that my tummy spills onto his before our lips can meet in a kiss.

Bless those little souls who come into our life, completely change our bodies and change our lives forever. Welcome to motherhood.

During my first pregnancy I loved my growing bump; I loved everything about my tummy. It has always been my “trouble” area so at 6 weeks I took great pleasure to attributing my tummy lady lumps to the growing baby inside me.The love affair with my round and full tummy lasted 9 months and halted abruptly when it no longer housed a little human being.

I remember sitting in the shower in a commode chair after the birth of my first child, Oliver and thinking, “Faaaaark, that was a bit full on!”

(Reflections of labouring for 18 hours, pushing for 3 and getting a pessary up my bottom as the trifecta) I then looked down at my tummy and it resembled something from the 80’s movie “The Blob”. I remember thinking, oh it will return to normal, just give it some time. (The present me just laughs bahahahahaha at the notion of that!)

Weeks went on and my tummy still remained jelly-like and to top it off my nipples had grown to the size of dinner plates, I had it all going on so I decided to be proactive and join a netball team. Getting back into a team sport was fun, getting Ollie into a crèche and forgetting about being a mother was even better. All was going really well until one day I took a dazzling intercept and wet my pants. God dammed pelvic floors got smashed during my pregnancy and all I could think was why did I only do my pelvic floor exercises for the 30 seconds that followed the question from my physio girlfriend,“Have you been doing your strengthening exercises?” So there I was, standing there on the netball court, completely blindsided, mortified with wee running down my leg.

Here I was trying to be proactive about getting my body back into shape and all I could think was how disloyal it was being to me.

Whilst I was dealing with wetting my pants and those nipples I was surrounded by imagery and messages like:

“My dream baby” “How I got back into my pre-baby jeans” “Being a mother is magical”

The magazine covers looked like this:

Magazine cover KARDASH

But there was no magazine covers like this:

Magazine Cover

There was another incident that occurred one night when I was walking from a friend’s house with my husband, pushing 6 week old Oliver in the pram. I got the urge to do a number 2; it was a “touching cloth” situation. I screamed to my husband “Run ahead, open the gate and the house and have the toilet door open and ready for me”. He ran ahead and I ran along my street pushing the Bugaboo as fast as I could. If any of the neighbours saw us, I’m sure they would’ve thought, “Oh how delightful, that new family being all healthy and having a run on a Saturday night”. Little did they know.

I made it through our fence (please note the “perfect, white, picket fence”) through the front door, into the hallway and, well, there’s no other way to put it. I shat my own pants. I remember the mortified look on my husband’s face as I shuffled my feet to the toilet to clean up my mess. I remember crying and thinking to myself, I am meant to be cleaning up my baby’s mess, not my own. Disloyal and disgusting body, I hate you.

I remember looking in the mirror and telling myself,

“Your husband doesn’t want to fuck you, you are revolting”.

So many changes occur to a woman’s body during pregnancy and after birth and yet society and the media glosses over all the (literally) shitty stuff and feeds us the unicorns and fairytale version of motherhood and parenting. At a time when women need to be supported there are very few “real” stories but instead a plethora of smoke and mirrors, over-embellished stories of bliss, ecstasy and pleasure and lies – god damned lies.Getting your body back into your pre-pregnancy jeans ISN’T easy! And motherhood isn’t always joyous!

BoobsI’ve since learnt to love my body.It’s taken a lot of effort, time and energy but I can tell you there is nothing better than a) loving your body wholeheartedly, lumps and bumps and all and b) telling society where they can shove their ideals of beauty.

It’s now my mission to help prevent as many women as possible from feeling the way I felt. I plan to do this by sharing poo and wee stories across the globe and challenging the notion that behind the razzle and dazzle of every front-page celebrity story, there is a woman who poos too, maybe has the odd nipple hair and perhaps even has her own set of insecurities. My tummy has housed 3 babies and my boobs have provided over 4000 meals to my tribe; for that I am proud of my body and no longer ashamed.

To all you amazing Mums out there currently navigating dinner plates, weeing on the netball court or a having little accidents in your cottontails, please know you are not alone. United in the reality of shit and piss we stand.

Please JOIN THE MOVEMENT and stay in touch or grab yourself a set of MAGNETS and help me change the world – “Changing lives one fridge at a time!”

Writer, speaker and free spirit, Taryn is the infectious voice behind The Body Image Movement, a global movement to shift the way women think about themselves, and in turn, feel about their bodies.

Her new book EMBRACE – My story from body loather to body lover  (foreword by Ricki Lake) tells her story from being bullied at school, to embarrassing toilet tales and what it means to be supported by celebrities including Rosie O’Donnell, Zooey Deschanel and Ashton Kutcher! Embrace will challenge you to reconsider the relationship you have with your body, but above all, will inspire you to embrace a life without boundaries so that you too can love the skin you’re in.

Signed copies of Embrace are available from http://shop.bodyimagemovement.com.au/product/embrace/

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing your #1 and #2 too! Your honesty warms my heart!

    • Penny

      Thank you so much Goddess Taryn for allowing us to be part of a journey of growth and positive direction to learn to embrace our Womanly essence.I have just turned 50 years of age.I am a mother to 6 amazing children, 28 years down to 13 years.All my early life I was heavily involved in sports right up to my 2nd child.As the years passed I battled emotionally with ever drooping stomach.I battled many diets, felt guilty about eating etc.I never really made time for me to just love who I was.I felt my body was disgusting even though I was a size 16.My husband then gender transitioned ,had surgery and as a woman looked amazing.My judgements of myself increased with every year they blossomed .It has been ten years since her transition and the entire family is together.However my insult of myself continues UNTIL I watched your video.Today is Saturday and today I am going to begin the journey of embracing me, myself, I. Hugs

  2. Louise Croker

    Awesome post Taryn, I wish BIM had been around when I was going through all this same stuff post pregnancy, it was one of the hardest times of my life (am resisting the guilt ridden desire to say ‘and the most wonderful’). It took a good 3-4years before I could start to feel like I even owned my own body again let alone feel ok in it.

  3. Susie

    You are truly wonderful. Keep spreading that message and keeping it real. My belly, that has housed two Samoan babies, is smiling with you all the way. Excuse me while I run to the toilet before I wet myself…;-)

  4. I love your article in that it shows the reality of what happens to women’s bodies (especially those that don’t have a full time nanny, trainer, and someone preparing our meals!). However, I will say that the idea of “having” to wet your pants for the rest of your life or having leaks doesn’t have to be the norm! Diastasis (the separation of the transverse muscles) can be helped and strengthening your core can lead to no more leaks – and a much healthier middles to pick up and swing around those kiddos! I’m really thankful for my relay teammates website – http://www.fit2b.us – where she has family friendly fitness videos that teach you how to heal your core without crunches (which can make mummy tummy worse).

  5. Tiffany

    Dear Taryn,
    I have not yet had children (I’m only at the ripe age of 21 and feel that I’m still a baby myself), however having children is very much something I’d like to see in my future and knowing that these things will inevitably come is somewhat refreshing. I have struggled with positive body image for most of my life and only in the last few years have been able to look at my body with care instead of scorn. I realize that the experiences you describe do not happen to everyone, but even still, I intend to be ready for these things. And most importantly, embrace these things which only make us human. I highly appreciate the message which the Body Image Movement site brings across, because as a young woman, I would like nothing more than to share these views on body image with my own children.
    Much thanks,
    Tiffany

  6. Claire

    That was the funniest thing I have read for ages. Finally someone telling it like it is. Love your article. Thank you for the laugh!

  7. Taryn, my lovely thing, you are the *real* deal! I have *never* had another person’s stories have such an impact on me as yours have. It’s incredible. You have brought out a lot of very new emotions in me by reading what you’ve gone through (in several of your articles that I just spent the last 2 hours reading!) I have seen plenty of women sharing their body photos and saying “fuck you, I don’t care that you want me to feel shame for my body. I won’t.” But none of them have felt as truly raw, honest and real as yours has to me. That is, I can feel that you actually are not shitting when (OMG. I’m so sorry. I just realized how that sounded. LOL) when you say your plan/goal is to spread all the real womanly stories to everyone in the world, without glossing over any of them, Huge, Ginormous, magnificent kudos to you because you have actually done just that, and a fabulous job. You are the most impressionable one I’ve read from so far. I already love you after only what several articles? You’re amazing!!!!!!!

    • Taryn Brumfitt

      That is very sweet! I’m so pleased to have had such a positive impact Kendra xx

  8. I am falling in love with you!! Thank you for making me laugh so hard it brought me to tears this morning.. not just because of your story, but because I was crying reading I am not the only one who has done this!!!

  9. Merry

    I love it! I’m a mother of 4 & am “healthy” but no amount of carrots will return me to pre- baby body. I have all the stretchmarks & pouchy tummy a mother of 4 SHOULD have. These are our battle scars. And we now need to win the war on the social pressures to be flat tummied, waifs who spend more time on their bodies than they do raising their kids. This includes teaching our daughters to love their bodies no matter what their shape & teaching our sons that women are vessels in which life not only comes from but thrives from. Oh yeah, & reminding our husbands that it is their wife’s beauty they will be holding tonight, so they should keep their eyes on her…not the media hyped narsisistic ideal.

  10. Rajinder Dhiman

    LMFAO!! Ok, after this story, I’m a fan. I’ve been there and cried and laughed and cried some more but am still laughing.

  11. Michelle

    I love what you have written and think it’s so brave to be sharing such personal stories. My last thought though is the fact that some women DO have the natural ability to lose the weight. After I had my first son and my stomach was looking jelly like – I thought it would bounce right back…and it did. I got pregnant again soon and had my other son…my stomach bounced back again. I don’t think anyone needs to exercise excessively. I didn’t do anything strenuous to lose the weight (I gained 85 lb with my first child!). I ate what I wanted when I wanted, in moderation. But mostly tried to stay healthy. I am a junk food fanatic & love sugar, I didn’t even cut out white starches. I like the message that you are sending to women who don’t ‘bounce’ right back naturally – but some do and shouldn’t be spoken to harshly about it. I don’t want to feel bad/sad that I lost the weight, have a toned stomach (for doing nothing), and no stretch marks :( I would NEVER throw anything in a woman’s face. (P.S. the woman who inspired you to write the blog about body image in the first place was crazy for doing that! I don’t know who she thought she was trying to ‘flaunt’ what she thought she had – but it was a disgusting embarrassment to all women who have carried children!) I think you look beautiful in ALL of your pictures.

  12. Lena

    Unpopular opinion: I have an issue that my self-esteem depends, among other factors, on my looks. Reading this post got me terrified. I quite dislike children, so I do not wish to have any. Your post reaffirmed me in my position.

    • Anne

      I’m with you Lena! I found out I was infertile when I was 19 and it felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I’m 41 and have NO regrets whatsoever about not having children. I’m perfectly happy with having no stretch marks and being able to not shit my pants or piss myself thankyouverymuch. :)

    • Angel

      Having children is worth every bit of the sacrifice. Looking into the eyes of your child for the first time is the best moment you could ever fathom. A self absorbed life of vanity is an indication you probably shouldn’t have a child it requires you to think about someone other than yourself. If all the energy is expended on feeding your ego there would be nothing left to care for a child.

      • AnotherAnne

        Having kids isn’t for everyone. No need to get so judgmental, Angel. Afterall, there are plenty of people already on the planet. If one is so selfless, maybe one could care for those parentless souls already here. And, Anne, don’t get too comfortable in your britches. With age or infirm may well come a slip that you mistake for a fart and find you will be cleaning your own panties yet. Cheers to all y’all.

    • Rachel

      That’s very sad. Sad that you can’t find anything more important to base your self-esteem on, and sad that you haven’t grasped the point: these physical changes are a small price to pay for the fulfilment of being a mother.

      Your looks will fade eventually, it’s inevitable – maybe you’ll grow old gracefully or you’ll hack your face and body up in an attempt to cling on to your youth, but as far as society is concerned, once you’re past 40 max, your looks don’t matter, you’re old. That’s that. You’d better find something else to value in yourself before then. It saddens me that, as a society, we place so much more importance on a woman’s appearance than on her mind, her achievements, her decency.

      I’ve always struggled with my body image, through countless eating disorders, multiple chronic illnesses and hormonal treatments – the latter have robbed me of my ability to have children as well as of control over how I look. I’ve gone between a UK size 14 and a 6 and back up again, depending on what treatment I’m on. I’ve lost my career too, everything I’ve worked for and valued has gone. It now seems I’m about to get another diagnosis which will mean a future of being utterly repulsive by society’s standards. I’ve had to explore other sides of myself and find my value – I’m now an artist and working for myself. I am angry with my body and with life for dealing me this hand, I want my body back and I want to be able to have kids, but I’m not going to let it destroy and rule my life.

      My mum had a hard time having kids. Multiple divorces, domestic violence, bladder prolapse due to pelvic floor dysfunction, dealing with a kid with ADHD and two with depression, etc etc. She’s a person who values her appearance more highly than she should too. However, when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer a few months ago, you can bet she was glad that sacrificed certain things about her body to have a family. There are just some times when you realise what’s important – I hope you get a similar wake up call, although hopefully in a less traumatic manner. I’d love to be able to have children because I understand what really matters – not so much having a family, but just building something you can be proud of at the end, making something beautiful, meaningful and worthwhile. I have to make do with pieces of art, which isn’t ideal. All of the physical things she me mentions, I’ve had happen to me for medical reasons without having had any kids. My mums had the same because of chemotherapy. Your body might be perfect and healthy right now, but that can be ripped away from you whether you have kids or not – believe me.

    • Bunny

      I agree with Lena. I didn’t want to have children before, but now I REALLY don’t!

  13. Josette

    You made me feel so much better. My husband told me why don I look like that . Look at these women who have kids And a year later look amazing. I’m sorry I have to work and take care of my children . If he would help me maybe I would have time to focus on working out. My question to the men that are over weight what your excuse I carried children in my body.

    • I know it’s not cool to say negative things about someone else’s husband BUT……. The mother of his children should not get that said to! The 9months it takes to make a human being while still functioning as one yourself and pushing out a human being! I really don’t think there’s any room for anyone including husbands to judge how long it takes to look a certain way or what the end result is. How awesome of a mom is what should be in the forefront of his and your mind. I hope positivity came through this post because it really was meant to make you feel better.

  14. Alissa

    I’m not even a mother but I love reading your blogs. My mother had four of us and has never been happy with her body. When it comes for my time I want to be prepared to keep this mindset and just be happy with my family.

  15. rebecca

    Loved your posts. I had six kids: the last two were 10 pounders (hey, I’m over 6 feet tall: it is to be expected). Of course my body changed. Breasts went from a constantly leaking size DD during the 12 years of nursing to size AA puffballs now. But I can hike with my grandkids, climb the 160 stairs to my apartment and bike for 40 K on the weekend with my husband. Life is great.

  16. Chenell

    Thank you for this and everything you are doing. I recently had my first child nearly 9 months ago and have been struggling with my new body. I am a working mother and finding time to do anything for myself has been a challenge. I am going to focus on making healthier choices for the sake of being a healthy role model for my family and focus less on having the “perfect” body.

  17. Gina

    I pretty much just wet my pants reading this. There are tears streaming down my face from the laughter. But I totally relate to those experiences, amd just the general shock of the post-birth body. Thanks so much for your bravery and homour in tackling this huge topic of body image, fitness and realistic expectations… Keep it coming.

  18. Gina

    I pretty much just wet my pants reading this. There are tears streaming down my face from the laughter. But I totally relate to those experiences, amd just the general shock of the post-birth body. Thanks so much for your bravery and humour in tackling this huge topic of body image, fitness and realistic expectations… Keep it coming.

  19. Candy Williams

    This is a great story! I have my little accidents all the time. All it takes is a dang sneeze! It took a while to get comfy with my body, but all the stretch marks and flabbiness of my belly are badges of being a mommy. I love it and my body!

  20. Karlee Nevares

    You had me at poop my pants. Thank you and I am ready to spread the word.

  21. CHRIS

    well ill stick with my beautiful ASIAN chick looks the same after having a baby,gym,diet excersise etc….end of the story THERE IS NO EXCUSES>>>>

    • Alissa

      I truly hope for her sake that you never have a daughter that is made fun of for her body type.

    • Maia

      It’s not just about diet and exercise. I have 3 kids and am easily down to my before pregnancy weight (I’m relatively small) thanks to a healthy diet, exercise and breastfeeding. But no amount of diet and exercise will get rid of the loose skin on my stomach – or the stretchmarks, coming when the skin expands to make room for the baby. These fade over time, however, and are now almost invisible. The loose skin, I have to live with. Again – diet and exercise can do only so much. I am not ashamed that my body shows that I’ve borne 3 children, the youngest only 5 months. I’m happy to make healthy choices, though. And Chris, comments like this- please. Obviously you know nothing of the female anatomy – I’m quite surprised you have a baby…

    • Kate

      @ Chris
      Why are you on here? How you feel isn’t just about how you look! For you to post on here suggests you are not truly happy! Take some time to ask yourself why you posted on here? Now go away and be happy elsewhere!! Much Love Kate

    • Ella

      Dear Chris,

      The fact that you felt compelled to write “my beautiful ASIAN chick” about presumably the mother of your child (or not) says a lot about you! The fact that you said it on here makes you stoop even lower. I’m Mediterranean and curvy and proud of it…. my partner loves me exactly the way I am and he is crazy about my curves so THERE IS NO EXCUSE HERE. I’m here because once upon a time I was very thin and according to today’s media frenzy I looked hot but life is not about that and I’m on here to say I’m curvy and have a fuller figure and I feel good with myself way much better than how I felt when I was a bag of bones!
      Good luck Chris!

  22. Jen in NSW

    After 4 kids I definitely have gained a little weight. My hour glass figure has definitely got a fuller lower half with my “waist” now sitting just under my descending bosum.

    I like your reality photos. Thank you, I think I may have been unrealistically expecting to somehow get back to a size 10/12 after the fourth child but maybe a 14/16 is more realistic, and soggy and dangly bits are to be expected and embraced.

    Keep up the good work,
    Jen in NSW
    (who doesn’t like to laugh in public in case those intermittent pelvic floor exercises were not enough)

  23. Girl, you are SMART! I wish I had known back then what you know now! I’m 51 and am just now becoming comfortable with – no, loving – my body. Really appreciating it for what it has done for me – given birth to 5 beautiful children, taken me on many fun journeys, provided many hours of great sex with my hubby. But for many years I, too, hated it for not looking like the models in the magazines. Keep on doing what you do – it’s so important! I have a 13-year-old daughter (she came along much later than the other kiddos), and I am trying very hard to teach her to have a positive self-image and to ignore what society teaches us about what she SHOULD look like. So far, so good! :)

  24. Heather

    I think you are such a brave and honest woman. We need more of that in the world. Thank you for sharing. I think men need to hear this message as well. Their expectations of women are formed by the media and are so different from reality.

  25. Shelley Lopresti

    Thank you so much. I was finally crying from laughing with you than from looking at my own body. As a former “athlete”, I always compared myself with the lowest body fat, highest muscle toned version of myself at the old age of 21…..Now two kids later and 26 years….it’s insane! I would not trade my life now for my 21 year old body. I do want more “healthy” in my life but seriously!!!!!! Giving myself a break would be a big change. Thank you for sharing that we are not alone and the “sisterhood of the mommy pants” is alive and well. I’ll join the “movement”….both of them….

  26. MBG

    Wow! Thank you! (I debated my comment for a good 20 minutes. Typed and erased. Typed more words and erased again. In the end, I think those two words is all that is need to express my reaction to you blog. Thank you once again!)

  27. Charlene

    What a well put message. We women try so hard to be amazing and near perfect, when really we are merely there. Your a true inspiration! Thank you for making mother’s feel human.

  28. cindy

    Been there, done that!
    Thank you for reminding us that reality is the norm, not the post partum perfect body that most cannot attain w/o concentrating hrs. a day upon.
    Thank you for assuring us that some pee down the leg or poop in the pants does not diminish our worth as women….heck, it can even unite us in our reality sisterhood! …and may unite us in a good old belly laugh – pardon the pun!
    Keep up the good work!
    You ROCK!!!!!

  29. Nada

    Hi, while I was wandering the halls of the hospital waiting for my daughter to birth her twin girls. There was a lot of tome to look at the different things covering the walls and doors. Artwork, posters, Christmas decorations. One poster caught my attention and on it was a mother holding her baby, with the words “I make milk! What’s your superpower? Isn’t that great and encouraging to all mothers. I have always been a proud mama of 5 and now I will add Super Woman!!!LOL

  30. you are AMAZING!! keep doing what you do!!! i totally support you!!!
    too long have we been brainwashed to not love ourselves only because we dont look like the fake bodies from the magazines! enough is enough!!
    we are perfect the way we are no matter the size!

  31. Christi

    THANK YOU TARYN! I needed to read this. I am 31 years old, 5’6″ and my weight before babies was 115 lbs. I have 3 beautiful boys, 8, 4 and 4 months. With my first pregnancy I went back to my normal size and weight. I never looked like I had a child, no stretch marks etc. With my 2nd came the stretch marks and more. After having my 2nd child I felt very upset at my body image. I went from 115 lbs to 126 lbs. I had a flabby belly and a road map of stretch marks! I was (and still am) self conscious with my body! With my 3rd and final child I didn’t gain anymore stretch marks, I just kinda grew into what I already had. I had saggy breast due to me breastfeeding my 2nd child. So my body image was far from perfect. Once I had my 3rd son, my body was a mess. I found out that I had Distacis Reci in my 2nd pregnancy and it just got worse with my 3rd. I now no longer have a normal belly button nor a smooth flat stomach. It giggles and wiggles. I look at myself in the mirror in total disgust! But after reading what you have posted and joining your site. I see it so much differently! I may not have a slim and sleek body and nor will I ever have that but I have 3 beautiful boys that I carried for 9 months and are happy and healthy. I am healthy! I do get down at times and I know it will only take time to except what I look like now and feel comfortable with it, but knowing I am not alone is wonderful! Knowing that there is someone else out there that has the same body image I have is wonderful to know, and to know that that person as excepted it is even better, that just has me take another step forward with mine and except mine! Thank You Again!

  32. Angie

    Brilliant! Hilarious! I’ve had four girls, the last two were huge and completely buggered up my pelvic floor – so I too have learnt there are times you, pardon me, “just don’t trust a fart.” I put a sign up on my bedroom wall that says:-
    “The privilege of bearing four daughters is etched on my face and body. There is deep (true) beauty in that beyond shallow(false) worldly standards!”
    following you now!

  33. T.S.

    What a great article – just the other week I was on the sledding hill with my kids and when I went down the hill with my daughter there was this great bump that we got a lot of air on and… wet myself. Back at the top I asked another mom if she was going to try that bump. She said she wanted too but was afraid she’d pee herself. So I said, “You will, but its totally worth it!” Down she went, “Yep” she said, “to both”.

    We and the kids all had a great time

  34. Sharna

    This is amazing. It’s very refreshing to finally read something that doesn’t glamourise everything to look like peaches and rainbows. Honesty is always a nice change to hear but it’s terrible that it’s not used more these days :/

  35. Thank you so much for your brutal honesty! I haven’t had kids yet so I have no idea what to expect. I know it’s not all sunshine and roses, but having you write the realities of it really helps with expectations and knowing that just about anything can happen. Thank you.

  36. Carolynn

    The things we have to endure as women… :) It is good to be able to laugh, and to share. Thank you for providing a safe placeo to do both of those things. :)

  37. Sonja

    I was lucky enough to get my pre-baby body back after my first baby, without any particular effort, but the second and third babies were a different story! Have you noticed that the magazines feature first-time mums? Everything seemed bigger with the second baby: the bump, the boobs, the appetite and even my feet got bigger.

  38. I laughed so hard at this because it’s a simple truth of being a mother, yet no-one wants to talk about it. We like to pretend we all go back to our pre-baby selves, physically and mentally, but sadly that will never be the case.

    “Disloyal and disgusting body, I hate you.”

    This sums up my body feelings after three babies, but I am learning to appreciate my body for what it has been capable of. It’s nothing short of a miracle. A little road wear never hurt anybody. Love your site and writing. Keep it up!

  39. Mumof1

    Thank you for having a sense of humor & keeping it real!
    I remember almost 16 years ago, going to buy my first pair of jeans to fit my after baby body (my old ones certainly didn’t fit) and thinking maybe I will try a size 7 as I used to be a size 3. I weighed 110 lbs at conception and stopped weighing myself at 200lbs & 8 months. I was one of those skinny girls that everyone said “you won’t get fat” I sure proved them wrong! Go me! When the size 7 didn’t even make it up my newly tree trunked thighs I kept trying the next size up and up and up….crying I bought my first pair of size 14/15 jeans….my body betrayed me too.
    Now, I’m somewhere in the middle and hoping I can show my teen daughter that we do our best but there are far more important things to focus on that our body.

  40. Terrie

    I like your style Taryn! Your honesty is utterly refreshing and far past due.I found your tale full of nothing but truths of how it really is, yet it is hilarious at the same time. Thank You for being so real in a time where all we see is scripted reality.

  41. Katie

    I sob as I read this! “Disloyal and disgusting body, I hate you.” This resonates with me… and I feel so guilty about that because I spent so many years desperately wanting a child. I was finally blessed with a pregnancy and loved every minute of it. I puked almost every day and LOVED it!

    Post pregnancy… not so much. My baby is 9 years old now. My belly is still icky. How did I get to this point? I was so in love with being pregnant. Being pregnant is crazy awesome… not only do I feel icky about my body, I also feel incredibly guilty about hating my body.

    It’s a never ending cycle. I am so grateful to read your posts. I laughed and cried at the same time. I think you are a blessing to so many. LOVE!!!

  42. Heather

    I am a generally happy 42 year old mother of 3 boys (youngest is 8) who struggles every day with body image. I try to remind myself that I have 3 beautiful boys that my body supported both through pregnancy and breastfeeding. I was so excited to be pregnant and didn’t mind the 50lbs that I gained and the stretch marks that appeared during my first pregnancy. Then the baby came and I saw my post pregnancy body. I was so shocked. No one warned me what my body would look like! My mom had stretch marks, but I never thought anything of them. They were just a part of her. I never thought they were ugly or unsightly. I didn’t feel that way about my own stretch marks. I felt like my body had betrayed me. After 3 kids, gaining and losing 50 pounds with each, and what I feel is an extra 10 pounds that doesn’t seem to want to go anywhere, I am struggling to come to terms with what my body looks like now. I get so angry with myself for not liking what I see in the mirror. There are so many women who would give just about anything to have even one child, and here I am complaining about what having 3 uncomplicated pregnancies, deliveries, and breastfeeding experiences had done to my body! And yet, here I am, staring in the mirror, trying to accept and love the body I have (that still works pretty well, minus the occasional incontinence), but still hating what I see. Then, I think about my boys! What message am I sending them? That I have to be perfect? I don’t want them to have that expectation that they can only love with a woman who has what our culture considers to be a perfect body! Thankfully, I have a husband who thinks I look great and my oldest son (13) has already expressed his preference for girls who have real curves, no makeup, and natural hair. How that happened, I have no idea, but I am thankful for it. This life of ours is a journey, and not always an easy one. I try very hard every day to look at all the blessings I have in my life (great husband, healthy kids, supportive family) instead of looking at what I consider to be my greatest failing (not being able to get my body back). It’s really tough, though. Sorry for such a long post, but I just found this sight and all of this that has been bottled up inside of me for a while came pouring out!

  43. A. T.

    First I must say, great message, Taryn. I enjoyed your story and this one in particular really cracked me up! You are amazing! A side note though to all the “haters”, I am not at all impressed by all the men who post comments on this blog that basically reinforce why many women have body image issues in the first place. They need to stay off of websites that are trying to empower women, they have no place here.

  44. DeAnna from USA

    I love your brutal honesty and I embrace everything you stand for! I have become more at peace with my body since I was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia at age 40 (4.5 years ago) and had to go through not one but two bone marrow transplants within a 4 month period! My faith in God solidified so much so that I learned that I am nothing without Him in my corner and that I had to laugh at myself (EVERYTHING about myself) in order to stay sane with all that my body was going through, inside and out!! I have EARNED every scar, cellulite mark, stretch mark (from each of my 3 kids!) and each inch of sagging breast!!! and I am DAMN proud of it all!! Out of all my ‘perfect’ pregnancies, I pooped the table during the birth of my 3rd, precious daughter’s birth – I had complications from HELLP syndrom at the time, BTW, but the only thing that matters is that she and I are both still here to tell about it (well, I tell about it…she’s 13 and still doesn’t completely understand the life threatening situation we both were in!!) LOL

    From all my heart, I wish I could monitarily contribute to your documentary, but I would LOVE to be a part of the documentary, if at all possible!! I love what you are doing and want to spread the wonderful news to all my ‘sisters’ throughout this entire world, who need to hear and understand and accept that they are BEAUTIFUL!!! just as God intended! and to love themselves as you are showing (and such a wonderful example for your daughter/s) and as I have learned to embrace in my stage of life!!

    I pray blessings on your project and know that God will bless it to the ends of the earth for ALL to hear!!
    <3 'D-Byrd'

  45. Cathy

    I am 62 years old and have been fighting the body perfect image for years.Having said that,I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds over the years.Add in two babies and the end result is I have alot of belly sag,even at my thinnest.I have had moments of embrassement due to this.Added to this I also inherited my mothers varicose veins.I once had a older women say to me,when I was wearing shorts,which I rarely did make this comment.”You are such a pretty women,but those legs of yours are sad.”I have had these veins since my first baby.I am now at 62 starting to embrass them.It’s never too late to begin to love your body as it is.Thank you for letting me share this.

  46. kelley

    Aloha Taryn,
    Let me just begin by thanking you for creating this website. You are an amazing woman who has the courage and tenacity to share a wealth of honest truths with other moms. You have your priorities straight! I did want to comment on the incontinence occurances and I wanted to recommend kegels and if you can find even a few minutes a week for yoga and pilates, I highly recommend as well. They will do wonders for your pelvic floor and kegels can be done anywhere. I have had three wonderful children, all natural births and these exercises seriously saved me and are good for health.
    Blessings to you and your family!

  47. Rada

    Hi Taryn!
    Amazing article(s)! Love all about them. It feels like it was myself who wrote them. I was an athlete before having my baby son, put on 40 kilos during pregnancy, dropped about 35 so far, after 16 months, but still bave the “blob” hehe
    It’s just that we don’t really have time for the gym anymore, not to mention 5 hours straight as done in the past. Can’t enter any of my jeans, but I’m not all fussy about it. It’s ok, when he’s older, it’ll go back to normal. I will have time for marathons when he’s at university! So what! I just have to tell you how your openness helped me accept myself. Thank you and keep on!

  48. 3boyhappychaos@gmail.com

    Hysterical and REAL. I love it!!! It really isn’t about whether you bounce back and lose the baby weight or not, or even whether you have children or not, definitely not about shitting your pants or not. I lost 50 pounds of pregnancy weight 3 times after my 3 pregnancies soon after my beautiful sons were born, and was still an athlete. My urinary incontinence started when I later gained 65 pounds in response to health problems and PTSD. This is about all of us as human beings, it’s about acceptance and joy in our humanity. There is so much laughter, joy, and HOPE when we stop living in shame about anything…

  49. This is great – and really important. I remember visiting the maternity ward just before having my first child and asking why there were so many pregnant women there; despite my advanced age (30) I seriously thought that woman’s tummies just popped back to their pre-pregnancy size once the baby was born. Such ignorance! Five children and 19 years later I’m learning to love my “birth scars”, pitta bread boobs, and even my over-hanging hovercraft tummy – for my own sake and for that of my two teenage daughters. Here in the UK we’re constantly bombarded with images of so-called “perfect bodies” and desperate celebrities sharing the secrets of how they lost their baby weight in a few weeks. Invasive surgery and other cosmetic procedures are becoming commonplace: my (female!) dentist offers botox and fillers for goodness sake (which I find disgusting). Well stuff them all, my baby weight, stretch marks and occasional incontinence (yes, sometimes poo too, if I go running) are my badges of honour. I’m so glad to be strong, fit and healthy and to have a husband who loves me no less then he ever did – just as I still love and desire him despite the inevitable ravages of ageing.

  50. chrissie from oz

    Thank you Taryn, I really appreciate you number 1s and 2s. I have joined the club, a little late (in amsterdam and queensland) and am now just beginning to appreciate what I do have, even tho some is missing.

    In 2011 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, lost a boob, myself, my confidence and I think I almost lost my hubby. Early in 2013 I had an epiphany where I realised I hadnt lost my husband (he has been the most caring person in this whole situation).

    Now I have learnt to appreciate that I may have one boob but I still have another, I have lost my ovaries but I dont need them anymore (I am 53) and my confidence with myself is dragging itself back.

    One day I plan to have realised that my body is mine. Just that and your thoughts help.

    thank you chrissie

  51. emma barnett

    You’re a very beautiful woman. Thanks for standing up for women.

  52. Nikole

    I started out at 98 pounds, gained over 90 pounds while pregnanat, and had a 10 pound baby (I am only 5 foot tall) via C Section at 18 years old. I had no idea what a post baby body REALLY was. My Mom was very honest about it and had 3 C sections, but she did not have my experience. My wonderful beautiful daughter changed me forever. I had body image issues before I had her and they were just intensified after. I have consistently struggled with my weight; varying up and down 40 pounds. I turned 41 last year and decided I would consciously try to love myself more and embrace my soft curvy body. I love your website. You inspire people like me. I have laughed and cried while reading your articles/posts. The world needs more honesty like this.
    AND…I still pee my pants a little everytime I sneeze (and my daughter is 23).

  53. Eve River

    you are amazing!!!

  54. Vicky Ferrier

    Excuse the pun but nearly pissed myself laughing. Wondering how I can help with raising the $200k target and raise awareness??? Taz, you’re an inspiration.

  55. Jasmine

    Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, for sharing your experiences.
    Thank you for making that ‘magazine’ where you show the realities. I would LOVE to read that magazine!

    You are an inspiration. Please keep going, and going strong!

    You are wonderful!

    Thank you.

  56. Nic

    I look at the naked pictures of you and I think – she actually looks great. Not perfect but great. My 7 yr old daughter looking over my shoulder said ” she looks like you mummy. She’s very pretty, but why is she covering her boobies?” Perspective right? We are so harsh on ourselves, I should treat myself with the honesty and grace I give others. Thank you for your honesty, for wetting your pants and writing about it. Mine happened on a netball court too, and it was so mortified and ashamed. It’s so so great to know it Does happen to others.

  57. Rachel

    I’ve been reading through your site with mixed emotions – relief, envy, and mainly a feeling of failure. I appreciate that this is far from what you intended.

    My difficulties with food started when I was around 12. Throughout my teens I suffered from multiple eating disorders and depression – I remember myself as a fat teenager even though the rare photos prove otherwise. My last year at uni, I starved myself for 6 months because I felt repulsive compared to the other girls. It got me a lot of compliments, so I guess it worked to a point.

    About a year later, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and things changed – I suddenly had bigger things to worry about than my weight, and even if I was concerned, I lost any element of control I had. I put on 3 stone in 3 months on the first treatment. After a few surgeries and a few other treatments, it went down again. Then I spent two years of my mid 20s in induced menopause – it destroyed me and almost destroyed my marriage, but I went down to a UK size 6 so I didn’t seem to mind too much (it also did help my condition for a while but then it stopped working and I had to come off it). After that I was diagnosed with ME. By 29, the career I had worked so hard for was over.

    Last year, at 31, I decided to come off all hormonal treatments – I thought it would be good got my body to have a break. How wrong I was. A whole host of symptoms started and now it looks like I may have PCOS, condemning me to a life of being fat, hairy and mannish. Even at my biggest I’ve always had a waist – not any more. The most recent photos of me were at an event where I should have been on top of the world (I enteredy first art competition and came third). Instead, I felt actually like I no longer wanted to live.

    I’ve always wanted babies, but between all my illnesses, my fatigue and the morphine I take constantly, it’s not going to happen. I can’t be proud of my body for having given me and nourished babies – I can only be heartbroken that my body is in this state and can’t even give me babies. I have no control, no ability to exercise (I’m mainly house bound these days), no light at the end of the tunnel.

    I think it’s incredible that you’ve managed to turn things around for yourself – I know logically that you’re right, that it doesn’t matter, that it’s a waste of time worrying about something that means so little in real terms. So why can’t I believe it? I don’t know. I hope I don’t always feel like this but don’t see a likely end to it.

  58. Wendi Brandon

    My burst of spider veins on my thigh behind my knee that’s been around since at least age 22 (no kids until 27), I just call it my Chicago (I am fascinated with maps). A few men have asked me what happened to my leg when I’ve worn a short skirt or running shorts. Some unfortunates cannot be educated. I’m tall and thin with muscles from hours of yoga and still accept that any day I can still piss or shit myself depending on the time of the month or if I’ve eaten brussel sprouts before pork or the vs. vs. I will fart in public because I refuse to give up eating and living. Sometimes, in life, there is no stopping such things. I was once working in a craft shop and a lady dropped her pants and deposited in the aisle. If she could have helped it, she would have done something different. Luckily, I’ve crapped my pants more than once, so we made a good time of it. When teaching yoga I remind everyone it is totally normal for the body to make numerous noises, not be able to get parts to look like the pretty pictures, and some days to just spend the entire time in the deadman if it is what we need.

    Thank you for your project and your smile. I would love to see my daughter and the rest of the youth following behind spending less time trying to control the uncontrollable and just loving themselves so they can better love each other.

  59. Jo

    “My stomach smiles after pregnancy” LOL I love that so much! Hahaha! Made my day.

  60. Judy

    I’m a mother of two, I don’t have marks on my tummy, I don’t have pelvic floor issues, but I DO laugh a lot on how many times I used to complaint “I was fat as a cow” before having kids. I got really fat as a cow afterwards and I have never been able to get back on my “pre-baby body”, but I haven’t been trying to hard either. I know is possible, but you need mindset and to invest time. I have decided two things: 1. I will focus in who I am know and how I do look right now, how I do see myself (not how others see me or would like to see me). I don’t need to motify myself thinking on how gorgeous I did look at 18 or 22 or even 30. 2. I will do my hardest to expend my time (quality time) following this simple rule: those that are the ones to be more devasted if I drop death now no matter why, get the most of my time and attention, these are my hubby and my two kids.

  61. Nancygreece

    I keep on laughing with ya, and at myself mainly, recognize this soooooooo very well!!!
    ” I then looked down at my tummy and it resembled something from the 80’s movie “The Blob”. I remember thinking, oh it will return to normal, just give it some time. (The present me just laughs bahahahahaha at the notion of that!)”

    Thank you for letting me feel it is ok to look the way I do and enjoy life with my kids, truth is I loooove sitting Saturday nights with them on the couch watching a movie and eat some popcorn, we call it our cinema-evening, I will never feel guilty again, THANKS!!

  62. Steph

    Laughing hysterically and enjoyed every minute of this post. Thank you :)

  63. Hi Taryn,

    I love your honesty, I’ve seen too many women between 30-55 disengage from life because of the struggles with incontinence. That’s what made me start Functional Fitness Australasia and make Confidant products available to Aussie women- They’re the support you need for one of life’s wee problems.

    http://www.confidant.com.au

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